Thursday, 8 September 2016


So in my regular travels on tube, I've noticed that the personal grooming that takes place there has got out of control. We are now oversharing to the max.

And I for one, am not a fan. At all.

Has this come along with our tendency to document every aspect of our life, including even the most unsavoury of our actions?

Power to women, freedom of expression and all that but I mean seriously?! Can't you just wait, or do it in a loo somewhere? Every second doorway in central London houses a cafe with a free loo that will undoubtably have a mirror you can use while you're at it.

I can't imagine my granny daring to do anything to do with her toilet anywhere other than her home. It would be unspeakable.

So here goes. The real pits of human behaviour. Seen most days on the central line.
If you have ever done any of these things...well, don't bother coming back.

When you go too far...

Moisturising your legs - wtf? Even if it is with cocoa butter and ok it does smell like chocolate.

Putting on deodorant - spray or roll-on - we get it, you smell. And now no one wants to sit next to you even though you've put on deodorant. Because now we know how gross you are, see? 

Make-up - this is a conflicting one for me because on the one hand, fair play to those who can paint on their winged eyeliner as the tube hurtles along the curved platform of the station. But on the other I'm a bit like, but why here? Next to me?

Brushing hair - not all that pleasant especially if you shed your locks like nobody's business. Keep those clumps of hair on your own bedroom floor not clinging to the bottom of my bag.

Painting fingernails, toenails - fingers, like no. And if I was ever to see someone doing their toenails I think it might have to be the one moment in my life when I would speak up on the tube.

A plea to all tube users

Personally I feel like the tube is still a very public place.
But there's something about giving a person their own seat that suddenly makes the space feel very private, like all of a sudden others around you can't see you.

But why is a tube different to say a restaurant or a bar? Would you do any of those things there?

I feel what you do in your own bathroom and home shouldn't be seen by anyone else except maybe your immediate female relatives or an inquisitive pet of some sort.

Because where do you draw the line? Shaving your armpits? Trimming your beard (the man kind not the lady)?

Guys and gals everywhere, let's just be considerate of those around us.
And please remember to do all your necessary toilet requirements before you leave the house. 

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